(SLIPKNOT) I AM NOT A NUMBER, I AM A FREE MAN

Q Magazine
August 2001

Making friends with Slipknot is not a good idea

0 SID WILSON, DJ
Aka: Ratboy/Monkeyboy because of his hair and gymnastic skills respectively.
Disguise: Gas mask
Angry about: The lack of violence in drum 'n' bass. Loves DJing at raves but prefers hip hop 'because there's more killing'. Soon to work with ultra-violent NY rapper Necro, who, as his name suggests enjoys "leg over" with corpses. Wilson's grandmother lives in Oxford. Intrigued by his success she has persistently asked him to send her a CD or video, 'I'd have to know someone was there looking after her before I send a package,' notes Wilson.   

1 JOEY JORDISON, DRUMS 
Aka: Superball on account of his boundless energy.
Disguise: Marilyn Manson like Kabuki mask
Angry about: Being short. Friend Marilyn Manson invited Jordison to re-mix recent single. While the gothic pair laboured studio personnel compared pictures of Manson and Jordison and asked if he was Marilyn Manson's son dressed up like daddy. 

2 PAUL GRAY, BASS
Aka: Balls, on account of being a stranger to fear.
Disguise: Fat pig face.
Angry about: The singer in his old band Anal Blast attempting to outdo the 'Knot by pulling tampons out of his arse on stage. Gray's family read the instructions to the American Dream upside down - raised in L.A. they left to find glamour in Des Moines.

3 CHRIS FEHN, DRUMS
Aka: Dicknose 
Disguise: Bondage mask with eight inch nose
Angry about: His band initiation which involved watching hardcore shit-eating porn. Fehn plays a set of rotating drums and occasionally runs across a series of ramps to bash Clown's on the other side of the stage. Has asked his opposite number not to shit in his path on the forthcoming tour to avoid unnecessary accidents.  

4 JAMES ROOT, GUITAR
Aka: The Peach, due to being 'giant'. He's 6'6.
Disguise: Zippered court-jester mask.
Angry about: The lack of decent fishing opportunities while on tour in Europe. "Live, I give it my all. I'm covered in my own fucking puke all night, dude. I think after that I deserve a little decent bass fishing".

5 CRAIG JONES, SAMPLES/FX
Aka: 133Mhz, after his vintage computer.
Disguise: Racing helmet covered in nine inch nails.
Angry about: Hard to tell, since he doesn't speak. However, he did raise a wry smile when it was suggested he could serve cheese and pineapple chunks on his helmet at dinner parties. Jones nearly wrecked DJ Sid Wilson's engagement after the prospective father-in-law read his comment, "If I wasn't in Slipknot I'd probably be out killing people," in Rolling Stone, rang his daughter and offered to drive 2000 miles to rescue her. 

6 SHAWN CRAHAN, DRUMMER
Aka: Clown
Disguise: Clown mask
Angry about: The lack of death certificates being issued to everyone in the world except Slipknot, his wife and kids - especially Limp Bizkit's Fred Durst ['a cocksucker']. When next in London he has demanded time in the schedule to Changing Of The Guard and go to galleries.  

7 MICK THOMSON, GUITAR
Aka: Log, due to tree-like physique rather than on-stage crapping talents. 
Disguise: Hannibal Lecter style hockey mask.
Angry about: Stevie Wonder's lack of form. 'Someone should push his face into the wall and say, 'Dude, where's the magic gone?' quoth raven-haired giant. 'He's written some awesome love songs. You couldn't get a love song in the Slipknot repertoire because the fans would react badly'. React badly? This is from a man whose audience regularly pelts him with dead beavers. 

8 COREY TAYLOR, VOCALS
Aka: The Sickness, due to febrile imagination. 
Disguise: Dreadlocked ghoul
Angry about: Lack of interest in his recently completed 'romantic comedy' screenplay. It's about a man in search of a female vampire in California whose leg is chewed off by cannibals in the Nevada desert. Decided his life had to change after waking up from a drugs binge 20 miles from home in a wheelie bin. "Now I feel as though I've made something of myself," he says. 

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