Cash For Questions: Muse
Q Magazine
July 2010
In a turn up for the books, Matt Bellamy is no longer their most bonkers member.
Top of your list for queries for the Teignmouth Trio: Alien abduction, getting jiggy with Lily Allen and what we can expect from their Glastonbury set. Assuming the "little goblins" don't get them first.
Located just off of Sunset Boulevard in the swanky Mondrian Hotel, the Skybar is one of Los Angeles' hippest hang-outs. The views of the city are impressive, the vibe discreetly opulent. Sweet-talk your way past the famously selective door staff and you could well find your ribbing with rock royalty or Hollywood's A-list.
It's safe to say that it's a world away from the green fields and pagan vibes of Glastonbury Festival, but this is exactly where we find Saturday night's headliners Muse, dipping their toes into the pool and partaking in some midday sushi.
"It's the best festival in the world," says frontman Matt Bellamy. "When we were younger bands never used to come down to Devon, so we'd go to Glastonbury - it was the only place we could see them. It's the single thing that inspired us to be want to be a great live band; going to Glastonbury and just seeing amazing acts play and thinking, 'That's what I wanna do'.
This will be the second time Bellamy and bandmates Dom Howard and Chris Wolstenholme have headlined the festival - the first, in 2004, was marred by the sudden and tragic death of Howard's dad immediately after the band came offstage.
Today, though, the Teignmouth trio have plenty to occupy their minds. As well as preparing for a headlining slot at the Coachella festival in a couple of days time, they also have to record a new song for the next Twilight film with Butch Vig at the helm - and for Bellamy there's a tour of some of Hollywood's pricier real estate to fit in (Christina Aguilera's old house is on his list). But infinitely more pressing is the sheaf of questions next to the plate of maki rolls, some of them Glastonbury-themed, others touching on such varied subjects as alien abduction and the close "friendship" Bellamy sparked up with Lily Allen at the recent Big Day Out in Australia.
So, gentlemen, when you're ready...
Glastonbury: what should we expect?
John Peake, via email
Matt Bellamy: I don't wanna say it in case it doesn't happen, but we're thinking of going full orchestra for Glastonbury. The logistics are gonna be fucking hardcore. They'll possibly be in dickie bows. We'll keep it formal.
Hydrophonics or hallucinogenics?
John Buttner, via email
Dom Howard: The last time I smoked was when we were in Amsterdam - "Let's go and have a spliff for old times sake." And I got absolutely boxed and paranoid and ran straight back to the hotel. The last time we did mushrooms we ended up in a bouncy castle in the desert outside Las Vegas.
You've been offered a chance to play the opening of the 2012 London Olympic Games. Money's no object. What do you do?
Alana Honore, Shepperton.
MB: Something with magnets. You know in Back To The Future II they built this fake street with reverse magnets so they could do the hoverboard thing for real? You'd have to get thousands of reverse magnets and cover an area the size of a football pitch, and you could come out on a disc that floats. That would be quite spectacular.
Hugh Moffat, via email
MB(small laugh): No comment...Had a few nice days out, had a little chat about the music business (enigmatic smile)
Dom, you've been hit by Matt's flying guitars before. What measures do you take to protect yourself from his "theatrics".
Matt Devereux, via email
DH: My reflexes have become a lot quicker. I had stitches in my eye once after he cut it. And a tetanus injection...
MB:...In his bum! We came backstage and he was bent over a table, his bum hanging out. That was the main reason I did it. Any excuse to get Dom to bend over and pull his pants down.
Have you ever heard a conspiracy theory and thought, "Nah, that's just too ridiculous?"
Neil Feller, via email
MB: That the oil in the world is just endless. There's a mechanism at the core of the earth that basically melts something. And the oil wells are constantly filling up again, but oil companies are pretending it's running out to keep the price high. It's one of those mad ones I'd like to be true.
Matt, do you still use your jetpack?
Kelly Mattie, via email
MB: I don't understand how it ever became a jetpack. It was a paramotor: a 50cc engine with a propellor and a parachute. I took lessons - it was what I was gonna do if the band didn't do well, I got involved with someone who wanted me to fly over a Jamiroquai concert in Verona. It was a cheap way of doing big aerial crowd shots, cos it's legal to fly over the audience in one. The worst you could do was break a couple of necks. As soon as Muse is over I'm gonna get straight back into it. Not just gigs - I'd do sporting events as well.
Do you ever read any of the online erotic fiction written about you?
Joely Byrne, via email.
DH: No, but I've seen weird things on our messageboards. The fans there are quite active - they have these threads called Pornogenic Dom, Pornogenic Matt, Pornogenic Chris. They started off using these pictures of us pulling weird sex faces when we're playing live. It's our cum faces, basically. It gets weird out there.
One for Dom and Chris. What's the most embarrassing thing Matt has ever worn?
Jamie Armwood, Derby.
DH: The other night we went out to a bar and we ended up meeting Rod Stewart. And Matt was accidentally wearing the same clothes as Rod - black pin-striped pants, a grey suit jacket, waistcoat.
CHRIS WOLSTENHOLME: There was the time he turned up at the Q Awards, and he'd been locked out of his house. He came in his gym gear.
Now that you are more famous, do you think you're more likely to be kidnapped by aliens?
Alex Light, via Twitter
MB: Dom has actually been kidnapped by aliens. But he's done research and found out that it's actually something called sleep paralysis.
DH: It's when you are extremely tired - you go to bed and you fall asleep, but you suddenly think you're awake and you can't move. You're effectively paralyzed in bed. And often what's associated with that is a weird presence in the room.
MB: Tell them about the little goblins.
DH: I've seen little goblins running around at the bottom of my bed. I've been dragged out of my bed...So there are extreme cases where people do feel like they've been abducted by aliens. But really they're just suffering from sleep paralysis. But I've certainly honestly, experienced it, so I'm comfortable that it's not actually alien abduction. I didn't wake up with a sore bum.
MB [Excitedly]: I'm so glad someone else has taken over that role in the band. I hope you know I'm not the fucking weird one now.
Ever had a near death experience?
Mark Leachman, via e-mail.
CW: A couple of days ago, actually. Really dodgy flight into LA, the weather was bad. I thought it was all over for a minute. We seemed to drop a thousand feet instantly.
MB: If it had jolted any more, Dom would just have come out and said, "I'm gay".
How's the stockpiling for Armageddon coming along? Have you killed any chickens recently?
Ericka Borucki, via email.
MB: No, but a few of them are up for a cull. I have bought a load of freeze-dried food that lasts for 25 years. All you do is add hot water and you've got Bolognese, lasagne, curries...a two year supply and a varied menu. Well, it's actually a year's supply when these two come around.
As Teignmouth boys, can you recommend the best place to get Devon cream tea?
Chad Bays, via email.
MB: I'd go down to The Beachcomber. It's not one of those places full of posh old bids. It's a proper old-school seaside café.
Liam or Noel Gallagher?
Teddy Powell, Ledbury.
CW: I had a bit of a run in with Liam's security guy at a festival in Belgium. He didn't like me playing football. Then he nearly kicked my head in.
DH: Cos you were kicking the ball against their dressing room. But basically Liam didn't have the balls to come out and tell you himself.
Has David Icke invited you round for tea and biscuits yet?
Christian McGlamery, via email.
MB: Still waiting. We played on the Isle of Wight and he lives there - I thought he was gonna hook up for a little chat. But I'd like to meet him at some point. He tours all over the place with his combination of genius and crazy talk. I'd say it was 80 per cent genius and 20 per cent just sheer madness. That's the lizard bit. But 80 per cent is well researched. He's pretty on the case.
Matt, you're neighbours with George Clooney in Lake Como. Ever been invited round for dinner?
Guy Wear, via email.
MB: Unfortunately not. I have seen him cycling back and forth, he likes his bicycle. I was hoping for an invitation to play poker. I'll take him on, head up, 10 grand apiece. I'm good enough at poker to take on someone like him. Or he could come round to mine for some freeze dried Bolognese.
Claire Bagg, via email.
MB: I'm crap at Guitar Hero. I can't get my head round it. I can't get the co-ordination of the buttons and everything. These two are really good at it. I had a go at 'Livin On A Prayer, though, and I like Willie Nelson's On The Road Again.
How long before Muse become the first band to play a gig on the moon?
Jonathan Van Cleeve, via email.
MB: Twenty years. We're already working on the first-in-space one. We've got two angles, via Virgin Gallatic, and another company...I think Richard Branson wants to use one of our songs in a TV ad, so that's one of the angles we're going down. There's a chance we might pull that off in five years.
Dom, as the band's resident "ladies man", who's the most famous person you've hit on?
Claire Morgan, Clitherhoe.
DH: Jane Fonda. She's 72. I like the older ladies, you see. She was hanging around with Rod Stewart the other day. She seemed like a nice lady. But I failed - I didn't charm her enough.
What's the best piece of advice Bono gave you when you supported U2 earlier this year?
Dan Felter, via email.
DH: I had a couple of slightly drunken chats. He was talking about how great it was to be in a support band: "Oh, it's brilliant being a support band, you just enjoy yourselves, do a short gig then you've got the whole night to have fun." Just wise words, I suppose. Enjoy it while it's there.
Matt, you once worked as a painter and decorator. How much would you charge to come and do my living room?
Penny Shore, via email.
MB: £10 an hour. I'd work a nine-hour day, with an hour break. I'd be more than happy to do that, to be honest. Some of the best times I've had were when I was painting. But the worst one was when we had to paint a donkey stable. The donkeys escaped one day and me and my mate Jake were both running around a field in our painter gear, trying to get these donkeys back in before the farmer got back. Maybe that's where Knights of Cydonia came from.
Which of you is always the last to go to the bar on a night out?
Paul Cordon, via email.
MB: We all manage to avoid getting a round in. We make sure we go out with the people that are gonna buy us drinks. Or we go to bars where the person who owns the bar has lined up something where it's all gonna be free.
When can we expect a Chris Wolstenholme solo album?
Sarah Foss, via email.
CW: I dunno. There's not been time for any of us to do anything like that. We pretty much go straight from touring to recording. Maybe one day...I've got a few little bits and pieces. What genre? I'm not sure it will stay in the realms of rock.
Matt's dad was the guitarist with The Tornados. When are you going to invite him onstage for a jam?
Martin Tan, via email.
MB: We could get him on for Knights of Cydonia. The rhythm in that is quite influenced by the things he did - a lot of Tornados tracks had that rhythm.
Matt, how in the name of Christ do you stay so thin?
Christine Smith, via email.
MB: I dunno - I eat a lot - loads of pasta. I don't hold back. Maybe I burn off a bit of energy onstage. I'm not really a gym person. Maybe I have a fast metabolism. At one point in Italy I was almost normal. But then I backed off again.
Who would win a in a Glastonbury headliner fight between you and U2?
Matt Wellner, via email.
MB: It's a tough one. We're betting on the idea that U2 are going to overdo it. To the point where people go, "This is no Glastonbury. This is the U2 extravaganza." And we're thinking that maybe Glastonbury might think that's a bit off. So we're going in the opposite direction - we're gonna go lo-fi and just...musical. We're gonna spend our money on an orchestra as opposed to production. We're going for music.
DH: But in an actual fight, U2 are all surprisingly short.
MB: And me and Dom thought we were short. And if it's an actual fight between productions, we're gonna have 50 musicians with us. So, as long as the orchestra is on our side, it'll be 60 against four.
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