(SLIPKNOT) Kamikaze Interview
NIELS RUF introduces the video/interview in what he appears to describe as a room "suitable for a student to rent". He is here with Slipknot.
Next thing we know, one of them (take your pick - but it probably wasn't PAUL) is throwing something at the wall.
"Welcome to the show"
We see CHRIS FEHN, SHAWN CRAHAN, COREY TAYLOR and PAUL GREY are somewhat awkwardly sitting around a table, which is decorated with a floral tablecloth. There also appears to be a big teapot, cups and saucers. It looks like a tea party from "Alice in Wonderland". In the background, "Mr. Everett Green the Singing Christmas Tree" plays "Jingle Bells" in a high pitched tinny way.
CHRIS and COREY (who initially waved) start holding up their middle fingers.
Quiet PAUL sits with his hands in his lap.
SHAWN (seemingly irritated with "Mr. Everett Green the Singing Christmas Tree" and the tinny "Jingle Bells" coming from him): Give me that thing! Give me that thing!
NIELS: I can stop it. It is no problem really.
SHAWN (irritated): GIVE IT TO ME!
NIELS (laughing nervously): What are you going to do with it?
The screen freezes here and a subtitle pops up: What will happen?
Will he destroy it?
Will he fuck it up?
Will he chew it up?
Everyone stares at him.
Even though everyone is wearing a mask, their looks are comical (especially PAUL and CHRIS)
The subtitle flashes up, "HARD MASKS. SOFT CORE".
(Shawn seems to be really enjoying the toy)
NIELS: Okay heh...so what kind of cake you want? Would you like to?
PAUL: Oh..well...no
(In the background "Mr. Everett Green the Singing Christmas Tree" is going off again, somewhat rapidly, as SHAWN is playing with it, cranking out the music. PAUL motions that SHAWN will have some cake)
The screen freezes as NIELS hands some cake to SHAWN. The subtitle pops up, "Will he feed his baby with it first?" as the Christmas tree toy is now propped on SHAWN'S knee.
SHAWN throws the plate of cake at the wall, narrowly missing NIELS.
The screen freezes and the subtitle pops up, "No...he fed the wall!"
COREY then decides to throw a teacup.
SHAWN starts dismantling "Mr. Everett Green the Singing Christmas Tree" and throws part of it at the wall.
NIELS (after a spiel in German, as he pours PAUL some tea from an teapot): I'm a social worker
(PAUL and COREY start throwing crockery at the wall. PAUL throws something at CHRIS, who is sitting at the other end of the table.)
NIELS (speaks in German):.."Spit It Out"...anything you want to tell the audience about that video?
(At this point, PAUL is just sitting there, SHAWN, who is holding one finger up to the camera, has his hand on COREY'S back, and CHRIS appears to be clutching the singing Christmas tree from earlier)
COREY: Uhhh, it's ours, and nobody likes it, so fuck it.
(CUT to video)
Back in the studio, the set is getting wrecked, as SHAWN has overturned the table, and throws it against the wall.
NIELS (as SHAWN continues trashing the room - a lamp falls on COREY (well bounces off his head), and causes CHRIS, still clutching the singing Christmas tree, to get up): You guys, you usually wear masks? Why not today?
SHAWN: Why not today? I don't know.
NIELS (as PAUL pulls the now turned off lamp up, which again falls on COREY, as SHAWN and CHRIS, who is STILL CARRYING the Christmas tree around, continue to trash the room): And is it true you don't have like uh, names, you have numbers?
SHAWN (as CHRIS throws something across the room): We have numbers.
NIELS: You have numbers?
SHAWN: Numbers..all (??) numbers...
NIELS (as SHAWN pitches something over PAUL'S head): So uh, what is your number?
SHAWN (to the sound of metal cutlery hitting a surface): Two
A title screen flashes up which reads "What woul Markus Kavka* actually ask now?"
NIELS: The whole band is like a concept. You have numbers, you have these outfits, the masks. Where does it evolve from?
COREY: It's not really a concept. It's our way of kind of flipping off the whole music industry because everybody has become so fuckin' fashion conscious and everybody is so quick to drop a fuckin' name here and there that the music has gotten lost. So we are here to say, 'You know what? Fuck what we look like. Fuck what clothes we are wearing. Fuck who sponsors us. Where's the fuckin' music? Where's the heart? Where's the fuckin' expression?' That's what Slipknot is always gonna fuckin' be about, so that's kind of...I mean...the concept is, there is no concept at all, you know?
(As he speaks, PAUL throws something by SHAWN. PAUL then starts testing a giant K on the wall nearby by pulling on it. He gives up.)
Title screen: This getting a bit dull...better ask an emotional question
(When we return, CHRIS appears to have moved to the other end of the room)
NIELS: You seem to be so wild and aggressive, but are there any more like any softer sides to you all? Do you cry in private? Privacy?
PAUL: Corey cries all the time...
(COREY looks at him)
NIELS: Yeah?
PAUL: Yeah.
(SHAWN starts banging the chair around to break it)
COREY: Just the other day I was watching the pornographic version of Bambi, and I was saying to myself that I really wish I was there. Helping out in any way I could. Then I started to tear up a little bit. Yeah. Especially when you know, the den mother started to get drilled by the...
(SHAWN throws the chair at the wall, NIELS ducks as it lands next to him)
COREY (unphased, continuing): sex drill and yeah, I'm kind of an emotional guy when it comes to that...
(As COREY is speaking, NIELS puts the chair upright, and motions for SHAWN to come and sit down. SHAWN responds by kicking the chair)
COREY: Put your foot through it, Clown.
(SHAWN throws the chair at the wall)
Title screen: Ahhh...Stop! Perhaps dull is better after all...
(Another chair has appeared. SHAWN is now standing holding what appears to be a hammer. Everyone else is sitting. CHRIS is still clutching the Christmas tree)
COREY: I mean, everything is relative to what it is, you know. A lot of people might say that we do this for attention, we do this because we have to.
NIELS: Uh...could you just ask him to lay down the hammer (laughs nervously)
COREY: Clown...Clown, answer some questions before you break shit.
Title screen: Will the Clown answer questions? Perhaps with...a hammer? Don't miss this and more at Kamikaze...
(On the floor, SHAWN is trashing crockery with the hammer)
COREY: He's going to entertain himself like that for a while...
(Everyone is watching SHAWN. CHRIS, a fidget, knee is shaking)
NIELS (who is drinking coffee, complete with saucer and mug): Is it the the whole time?
COREY: You might want to watch shards of glass flying into your coffee..
NIELS (over the sounds of SHAWN smashing crockery with a hammer): I heard you beat up an MTV VJ presenter?
COREY: Uhhh...no...
NIELS: Bound him to a chair or whatever
COREY (looking at PAUL and CHRIS): Uh...*sighs* (looks at PAUL) Did we do that?
PAUL: I don't know either. Better ask Shawn.
COREY: There's so many things floating around about us right now, we don't even know what's true and what's not.
CHRIS: I'd like to fuckin' beat up some MTV VJ'S
(CHRIS looks ominously at NIELS)
SHAWN (pointing at NIELS, still with the hammer in hand): Hey, want to flip for a punch in the face? (Wheezy laugh, COREY also laughs) Flip a coin? If you win, you get to hit me. If I win, I get to hit you?
NIELS: No. No.
(SHAWN growls. Goes back to smashing crockery)
NIELS (as everyone else laughs): We can do that later on...uh...I have a chainsaw outside if you like to?
SHAWN(?): Really
(Everyone else laughs. SHAWN is now throwing bits of crockery)
NIELS says something...as SHAWN says over him, "Anybody got any matches?"
NIELS: Is this an image you would want to have? Like to be aggressive, and people fear you?
COREY: No, it's just the way we are. It's not an image. It's just us, you know.
NIELS (looking at SHAWN, who is now next to him, smashing what is left of crockery): Okay...
(As COREY speaks, NIELS and SHAWN are staring at each other. PAUL throws something at SHAWN for him to smash.)
COREY: You gotta realize first of all, it's not about the pain, you know what I mean? We go through pain every fuckin' day. This is about the freedom that we have through the fuckin' music that we make, you know...
NIELS: Are there any drugs in that pain?
COREY (over the noise that SHAWN is making): What's that?
NIELS: Drugs?
COREY: No
(PAUL throws a teacup at SHAWN for him to smash)
NIELS: No?
(PAUL throws more items to SHAWN)
COREY: Absolutely not. We are a drug free band, and uh, there is only a few things we really do. You know. A few of us drink. People smoke cigarettes. That's about it. So...
NIELS: Do you think you are role models? Maybe for kids...
COREY: God. I hope not
NIELS: Oh, it's so beautiful, don't you think?
COREY: Keep that, dude. Keep that. That's fuckin' really nice.
(PAUL smashes the Swan ornament with the hammer)
SHAWN: YEAH!
COREY: Pricks. Come on...
(PAUL attacks something at or near CHRIS feet. CHRIS kicks out at him)
COREY: No. We're not role models for anybody, I mean we're not even role models for ourselves because we are constantly fucking up each other, you know? So...
NIELS: With these masks, you are kind of like replaceable in that group, and...
COREY: Sure, absolutely
NIELS: Is that a plan?
(SHAWN has now stopped smashing things, PAUL has the hammer, and SHAWN is pacing the room)
COREY: No. It's not anything that we think about, you know? I mean, the band is what it is because of these nine people, you know what I'm saying?
The screen freezes as everyone looks to the side (NIELS over his shoulder), and the title flashes up, "Oh, Oh! The Clown has discovered the Naddel-Calendar...What will he do about it? What will Dieter say about it?
...He urinates on it...PAUL moves his chair back
NIELS (over the sound of SHAWN urinating on laminated paper): That's fine...It's Slipknot...
(While all this is going on CHRIS is stroking the Christmas tree and holding it to his shoulder)
We cut to concert footage of SLIPKNOT...with "YMCA" playing over it...
SHAWN (offering a page from the calendar he was just pissed on to NIELS): Want one?
NIELS: I have a copy at home. It's no problem. Clown, do you think that wearing a mask makes it easier for you to misbehave?
SHAWN: Uh no. Turn the camera off, and I will take it off, and we will see.
NIELS (as PAUL reaches over to pick something up): What about if we leave it on?
SHAWN: What's that?
NIELS: You take it off, and you still misbehave?
SHAWN (laughing wheezily): Uhh absolutely, this mask is nothing without me.
NIELS: The other way round?
SHAWN (stands): Huh?
NIELS: Are you something without the mask? That was the question.
SHAWN: Absolutely.
NIELS: Alright...would you agree with that?
CHRIS/COREY/PAUL: Yeah...absolutely...
(SHAWN kisses one of the pictures from the calendar, which appears to be a scantily clad woman)
NIELS: You seem a little bit like more..sort of civilized
PAUL: Riiight...
(SHAWN folds the picture up and puts it in his pocket)
COREY: Civilized is all in the eye of the beholder, you know, but what is civillized to us may be completely out of fuckin' whack for somebody that doesn't know us, you know...we act like this all the fuckin' time
(SHAWN picks up a stick, and starts playing wth it, poking stuff on the floor. PAUL meanwhile is engrossed with whatever it is he has picked up. SHAWN hits something, which flies in the air, and lands behind COREY, hitting the curtains behind CHRIS. COREY whaps SHAWN in the head with a piece of paper he is holding. Everyone watches SHAWN for a few seconds)
NIELS: Ehhh...right...so what jobs did you guys have before?
COREY: I worked in a porn shop
A title screen flashes up: "...and we were already thinking physics graduate, kindergarten teacher or dance teacher!*"
NIELS: Uh huh
COREY: Chris uh, what did you do?
CHRIS: I was an electrician. I got shocked every fuckin' day...
SHAWN: I'm through with that thing, dude!
CHRIS (clinging on and turning away): NO!! Don't you even...
NIELS:...and the Clown?
(SHAWN sits back down. Wheezy laughter from the others.)
COREY: Clown did whatever he wanted to do.
NIELS: So, what did you do for a living?
SHAWN: I was a fucking welder.
CHRIS: See that shit on stage? He built that.
NIELS: What does he play?
CHRIS/COREY: Percussion
(PAUL is at this point ignoring everyone)
NIELS (points to SHAWN): Alright, on the right side? From the audience side?
CHRIS: Right.
NIELS: Okay
CHRIS: I'm on the left.
NIELS (pointing to SHAWN): And he sings sometimes?
CHRIS: Correct.
NIELS (over SHAWN banging the stick on the floor): I saw you while you were like er, checking the sound, doing the sound check...I saw you sleeping...
(NIELS indicates that CHRIS may have been asleep on his drums)
CHRIS: No. I was just pissed*.
NIELS:...Okay
(SHAWN walks over and grabs the big Christmas tree which is next to NIELS. NIELS says something in German. A large roll of something falls down as SHAWN walks off with the tree.)
COREY: Now your dropping the toilet paper. Fucking this up.
The next scene is toilet paper falling everywhere, as CHRIS, now minus the Christmas Tree he has been cradling, is pulling it out of the cupboard. COREY (with his feet on CHRIS chair) is leaning against PAUL and dying of laughter and kicking his legs up. SHAWN is dragging the big Christmas Tree around
SOMEONE: Bring down the walls!
(PAUL throws something at CHRIS. Then again, PAUL has spent the show throwing things at CHRIS. CHRIS returns to his seat, but finds COREY'S feet is there, and so stands in the corner. SHAWN throws the big Christmas Tree across the room, and follows this up with a stick. NEXT scene is of CHRIS looking for something, and SHAWN destroying the rolls of toilet paper)
NIELS (who has watched his tea party get trashed and his room wrecked): Clown, how often do you cry?
(CHRIS retrieves his EVERET GREEN CHRISTMAS TREE toy from the floor, checks it, and then goes back to cradling it. COREY is still giggling).
NIELS:...because you need so much toilet paper...
(CUT. SHAWN is still at the toilet paper. CHRIS is standing by PAUL)
NIELS (to COREY, PAUL and CHRIS): Do you enjoy reading Bret Easton books?
COREY: What's that?
NIELS: American writer. "American Psycho".
COREY: Oh. Yeah. It's a good book. I'm more a fan of Thomas Harris though. The one that wrote "Silence of The Lambs", "Hannibal", "Red Dragon", "Black Friday".
NIELS: Have you seen the new part of "Silence of The Lambs" already?
(PAUL reaches out to touch the CHRISTMAS TREE which CHRIS is still holding, while SHAWN throws some kind of flower bouquet decoration at NIELS)
COREY: Their working on it yeah. They haven't started filming yet, but it should be really fucking cool.
(NIELS picks up the decoration that SHAWN threw at him)
COREY: Those are for you by the way. You are getting married now.
(SHAWN throws some cutlery across the room. COREY starts giggling again.)
NIELS (checking a ragged bit of paper): And uhhh...you know you are in Cologne tonight?
COREY: Yes...
NIELS: They have one great thing...
(SHAWN hands him some cake which has been on the side)
NIELS: Thank you very much...it's called Carnival..do you...
COREY: I've heard of it.
(NIELS eats the cake. SHAWN brings him more. NOTE: This is a man who has just urinated on the floor...I doubt he has washed his hands...)
NIELS: Yeah...
COREY: But I've never...
(SHAWN brings NIELS more cake)
NIELS: You're too good to me...
CHRIS: You finally ate the Clown's piss? Right on. Good job.
NIELS: I farted in the mask before you put it on.
CHRIS: Huh?
NIELS *louder*: I farted in your mask before you put it on.
CHRIS: I know you did...
(As SHAWN and CHRIS mumble something, PAUL ignores everyone, and COREY flashes the Devil Horns at the camera), NIELS (in German) advertises the Slipknot ticket line.
CUT BACK to the studio. PAUL is standing up, COREY remains sitting, SHAWN is playing with something, CHRIS appears to be talking to PAUL.
COREY: Oh no...Oh no...
(SHAWN has got hold of some white foam, and puts it between his crotch to spray it. PAUL throws someting across the room)
NIELS closes the show out as everyone (apart from COREY who watches the others) throws things around the room. PAUL throws something at the wall which shatters, CHRIS (still holding the singing Christmas Tree) has gotten hold of a huge "K", which SHAWN starts kicking.
(SHAWN throws a chair at the wall. PAUL and CHRIS appear to have vanished)
NIELS (to COREY): So are you the least aggressive guy, or are you just not not in the mood today?
COREY: I break shit all the time. Just right now I guess I'm at peace.
NIELS (as CHRIS tries to smash the chair by banging it repeatedly on the side table): Would you say it was a little bit posing, or is it a real need to do?
(PAUL is now smashing the chair)
COREY: We do this because we think it's fun...
NIELS: Okay (nervous chuckle)..okay...and is it enough to make a living off the fun?
SHAWN: Everything but the cash (?) (the subtitles say "That's irrelevant")
COREY: We don't do this, we fuckin' waste away, you know?
NIELS: What do you do if like fans see you, meet you without the masks?
COREY: We meet fans all the time without masks, so...
NIELS: The real die hard, hardcore fans know who you are?
COREY: Yeah. Pretty much.
NIELS (as CHRIS stamps on what is left of the chair): Cry out the aggression that is in you every day!
NIELS (after a short speech in German): Thanks for being here guys...thank you Clown...
(NIELS goes to shake hands, but SHAWN ignores him, as he has found something to pick up - which turns out to be a picture frame, which he breaks gently over COREY'S head. In the background, PAUL has picked up a chair.)
NIELS: And now I break something as well.....
Notes
Markus Kavka: German presenter , music journalist, book author and DJ
Kindergarten teacher etc: Corey actually wanted to be a history teacher at one point, but then he got kicked out of school.
Pissed: German word used was "angerpisst", which means he was angry. Not "pissed" as in drunk.
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